*edited to say that it's now on Tuesday, not Monday*
I feel like I should be over the moon at the moment but I'm feeling far from it.
We had a bit of a false alarm on Sunday night. I started feeling 'tightening' on Sunday afternoon and after a couple of hours, we thought it best to call the hospital to check whether or not I should go in to be checked. Given I was 35 weeks with twins and the tightenings were increasing, they asked me to go in. Luckily I was with my friend who will be with me, so off we went.
By early monday morning, the tightenings were more like contractions and it was looking like the babies were going to come that day. Forms were being signed and a c-section being discussed because when they scanned me, the presenting twin was footlong breech with the cord presenting. In a nutshell, I can't go into labour with the cord in the position it is, as it would put Twin A in danger.
By about 2:30am, the contractions stopped. I hadn't dilated and everything seemed to have settled down. I stayed until later on Monday but had to go back to hospital today.
The Ob I saw today wasn't happy about me being home with a presenting cord. She mentioned staying in hospital until my C-section on the 16th, as if I go into labour, I need to be in hospital within 5-10 mins. I wasn't at all keen on that, as I still have my girl to look after and whilst the babies are important, so is Kara. She also thought that having a c-section in 3 weeks is just too far away and she called my Ob and they agreed it needs to happen within the week.
So, on Monday, I'm going in the have the twins. I should be happy, relieved, excited, whatever. I'm just not though. I can't stop crying.
This isn't how I want it to be.... I still kept hoping the babies would move and I'm not happy about them coming at 36 weeks. It means special care, steroids and just too many unknowns.
Anyway, I can't change anything about it. I just wish it was different. I want to feel the excitement I did with Kara but it's just not there.
V x
ohhh v, it will be there, as soon as you hold them (hopefully earlier) cant imagine how you are feeling, but just think about holding them babies, meeting them for the first time, their amazing big sister meeting them!
ReplyDeleteand no matter how they arrive that they are safe and healthy, thinking of you, so much
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It will all be ok. It truly will.
ReplyDeleteLove,
me
Bugger, I know this is so not how you wanted it all to go BUT who's baby plans ever do?
ReplyDeleteI know how much you've wanted a sibling for Kara long before these 2 little poppets were on the scene and now she'll have 2 siblings, how AMAZING. Please don't let yourself get stressed about the manner of their arrival, because you'll be so special at the hospital having twins they are bound to take such good care of the bambinos even if they do have to go into a special nursery. AND lets face it, your such a tiny dot of a thing I'm amazed they've stayed in as long as they have. Remember, those first few weeks are always such a blur and also such a small part of it all hopefully it will fly by and you'll all be home together, Kara, her siblings and their sleep deprived mumma.
Don't beat yourself up for feeling a little blue and daunted, your hormones are probably running crazy which wont be helping anything. You have every right to be feeling a little frazzled, so have a good sob, you deserve it.
Ok, there's my rant for you gorgeous,
Lots of love,
Em xoxo
Yep - what she said XOXO
ReplyDeleteGood luck V. Cant wait to see the photos.
ReplyDeleteCaro